N A N D I N I

As they say, sometimes you can know all about a person with their eyes. Eyes speak and I agree, you just have to know how to listen. I didn't ask him any questions because I wanted nothing from my marriage other than love. I didn't care about the money. I didn't care if he's workaholic—which he is as per internet. I have grown up in a family where I'm the apple of their lives. I have seen my parents in love, and I always craved for something like that. Theirs was love marriage but I just knew that I can never find someone on my own because I'm really indecisive and not to mention scared.

Scared of choosing someone who can hurt me, have the power to break my heart. So when I started officially working as a doctor, my parents asked if they could start looking for a man or I have someone. I told them I have no one and I'll marry as per their choice, but I need some time before that. I just started working and didn't want to get into this so soon. This conversation happened three months ago. I knew my parents were looking for rishtas, but they never came to me with any proposal. Until him. Four days ago, my parents said they have someone they want me to meet. Now that they didn't disturb me for the past three months, I couldn't say no to them. I agreed to see him.

When they sent me the biodata, it wasn't mentioned that he's a singer. Professional singer. It was mentioned in his hobbies. So of course, I didn't go look up the internet. Big mistake. If not for Navya, I'd never know he's such a big personality.

Saying yes to him came easy to me, even when after I went through Internet it scared me with how famous they all were-- They have paparazzi following them to the gyms, their airport looks are all over the internet. Who looks at other people's outfit you'd say? Millions of people. Alya wore an oversized black t-shirt paired up with black shorts, and that picture has 4.2 million likes. I also found out, his friends, Alya and Dhruv are in relationship—since last thirteen years. Alya has sweet tooth, yet he carries chocolates for her and not Dhruv. I saw him sneaking her sweets, twice during dinner. He can't say no to her even though Dhruv kept scowling at the duo the whole time. He might have teased me but the sincerity with which he interacted with my parents and brother all the while. Him asking permission for taking me out from Paa, asking if he could kiss me, telling me he'll wait if I wanted to pick the February date even when I somewhere felt he wanted to be married as soon as possible-- these little gestures of him started spreading a fire in my veins. My heart hasn't calmed down since our first tiny eye lock. The kiss, took my breath away and it didn't even last a second, what will happen when he actually kisses me? It's going to be so embarrassing if I pass out.

Kiss and all, haan?

I wanted love from my to-be husband and half day around him and his family, I feel I'm going to be showered in love and care and not to mention teased to death. The whole family is so amusing and witty. The moment the roka happened they started showing their true nature--especially Cabir and Mukti-- which is teasing the to-be-bride of their brother. As if their brother is any less, he didn't look away from me for a second, even when his friends continuously teased him about how he can't take his eyes off of me. Their comments turned me red--not kidding, I felt like my cheeks were on fire-- but had no effect on the man. Nil! He continued gawking at me.

•

My phone rings, bringing me back to the present. I saved his number when I was coming to my room after they all left. Mani. I don't know why, but when I was typing, I looked at Mani and just stopped right there. He's Manik for the world, Manu for his friend & family, Baba for Cabir. And he's going to be Mani for me. Mani. I tap on the answer button and press it to my ear. My heart thumping in throat.

"Hello." I said first.

"Hey." His calm voice fills my ears like my favorite melody. My heart settles down a bit. We stay silent for a moment.

"Uh... when did you reach?" I bite down on my tongue hard, eyes closed. "Just some minutes ago. The traffic was terrible." He groans at the last words. We go silent again, his huffs of breaths reach me. I pull away the phone away and breath all the air out of my lungs before inhaling and pressing the phone to my ears.

"Why are you so silent?" I finally ask, it's so unlike him to be silent. I mean he's an extrovert, yet I am the one trying to initiate all the conversations. "To be honest, Nandini, I'm really puzzled on how to approach you. I'm loud and blunt, and I really don't want to fuck this up. Shit. I-I didn't mean to curse. I'm so sorry. Fuck, I'm fucking this up. Shit. I mean--"

"Please. Relax. Stop worrying so much. Deep breaths, please" I mumble sweetly, he takes a long and deep breath and exhales. "We're just starting. It's going to take some time to be comfortable around each other, but please aap itna mat sochiye na. It's fine if you curse. I like your blunt and loud nature. I'm not here to change you, main aapke saath life share karne aayi hoon, aapka jeene ka tarika badalne nahi. We're not going to fuck this up. It's our relationship and we'll take it at our pace, as per our liking, I don't care if it's going too fast or too slow, if we are happy in the journey, nothing else matters."

"You sound like the calmness to my storm, Nandini. The silence to the sounds in my head." His voice is merely a breath. When I stay silent, he clears his throat and continues, "I can already feel in my soul that the almighty up there really made us for each other. And I will spend rest of my life proving it. I know our Roka was rushed and we don't know much about each other, but we can start by now, right? Ask away whatever you want. I want you to know the raw and unfiltered version of me and not the glitzy-glammy version from internet."

This is, this is what I liked about him. This side that he keeps for his family. After they all left, I searched him up and whatever was there on the internet sucked, it was not the Manik Malhotra I met today. "I read somewhere that you live alone and not with Mom Dad..?" I asked the very first thing that came to my head. He chuckled from the other side. "No. Total bullshit. I can't spend a day away from Mom. I need her hovering over my head like the witch she is, every single second!" I shake head at the choice of his words, these mother-son duo are on another level. They tease each other like best friends.

"Acha suno, ek baat bata doon main aapko—"

"Pahle meri suno..." I cut him off. He chuckles again before humming softly, I bite down on my lower lip. "Don't address me with aap." I mumble softly.

"Kyu?"

"Apna apna sa nahi lagta. It's as if we're still strangers." I whisper, my breath hot and heavy. He shuffles a bit, and it feels as if he slid closer to... my body. It's as if we are with each other, sharing the same bed. "Mera aap wo strangers wala aap nahi hai." His voice is rough but soft at the same time, "You know how we address kids as aap? Bache jaisa wala aap hai mera aap aapke liye." My cheeks are on fire! I swear, I feel as if I have fever, they are so hot.

"Bacha lagta hoon main aapko?" I almost whine.

"Mhm. Bache se hi toh ho aap, chote se, cute se." His voice is not teasing, he sounds breathless, and it makes my toes curl. "You height shaming me?" My forehead squints. Height comments wound me. He laughs from the other side. "We can bicker over this when we meet tomorrow, for now suno meri."

"Sunaiye..."

"Aap na Nandini, jaan lengi meri inn suniye sunaiye se." He groans out and that sends shivers down my spine. "I have a work commitment, our Roka was so sudden, and this commitment was made back in January, and I have to be there now. All five of us, actually. We have a concert in Canada, we have to leave day after tomorrow." My bottom lip pulls out in a sad pout on its own.

"I don't know what all you've come across on Internet regarding me, but Nandini wherever it mentions that I'm workaholic, it is one-hundred percent true. It's not the money or the power or fame that I run after, my work gives me something to look forward to. I love being busy. I love my work. And my work requires me to be away from home a lot, which now that we are going to be sharing our lives can be upsetting for you, and I know I should have told you this before our Roka but it just-- it didn't cross my mind at that time, at all." He takes a moment, to himself or maybe to gauge my reaction but I stay mum, smiling throughout his rambling.

"Bol do yaar kuch, main marr jaunga stress mein." I chuckle at his growl. "Jitna tease aap kar rahe ho na mujhe, main aisi jagah badla loonga iska, ki aap imagine bhi nhi kar paoge." I hide my face under the covers as if he can see me. Is he trying to say what I think he is?

"Firstly, promise me, that we'll never live alone. Or even think about something like that." I finally speak up. "Never. And thank you... so fucking much for this. Aap agar mujhse bolte ki you want us to live alone, main aapke liye karta, but it would have killed me andar se." I smile at his sincerity. "I'm a family woman. I'd never ask you of something like this." I try to put his mind at ease. "If I have Mom Dad and Fab4 with me when you're away, I have no problem. I can't be alone; I need someone around me."

"Yeah, you'll never be alone, don't worry about that. Those six are going to be the bees around your honey." I laugh, loudly this time.

I break the silence, when he doesn't speak for some moments, "What about my work? Would you ask me to stop working or something?" I kind of know the answer to that, but I just want to make sure.

"You know I'm going to share my parent's story with you a bit. So, they had arranged marriage as well, Mumma worked before her marriage but after marriage she decided to be at home. It was her choice, not my father, my grandparents, it was all her. Similarly, I don't know what you have planned for your future or maybe after our marriage you change those plans and that totally depends on you. I have seen and heard about relationships where the man decides everything for his woman, and I guess that's where your worry is coming from." He takes a deep breath and I do the same, the smile never fading away from my face, my lower lip tucked in my teeth.

"I want to tell you right now, that nothing that sort will be happening in our relationship, bache. You have worked hard to be where you are today and I'm no one, nofuckingone to take that away from me. I'm going to be your support, your loudest cheerleader. You want to work, work. You want to build your hospital from the scratch, I'm going to find you the best of people and handle it all with you. You want to stay at home, I'm going to spoil you rotten, take you with me on all these work trips and bore you. In short, you are going to do whatever you want. Neither my parents nor am I ever going to interfere in your decisions."

"Thank you so much for that." I merely whisper. "Thank you for almost agreeing with February wedding date and putting my choices first."

"Never thank me for considering your choices, Nandini. Biwi ho aap meri hone wali, aapki nahi sochunga toh kiski sochunga?" I don't reply to that, I mean what do you even say back to something like that?

"So jaaye ab? Subah office hoga na aapka?" I whisper, he hums in response. "Good night."

"Good night. Dream of me." His throaty chuckle is the last thing I hear before I press on the end button. There's no denying that, I'm going to dream of him.

The next day.

I continue looking at the message I just received from my fiancé. Message that reads, "Something comfortable and warm, it's going to be a bit chilly. I'll pick you up at 7:30pm, alright?"

"Okay." I hit send before my eyes go to the corner-- 6:23. Run, Nandini, Run.

By the time I come to the closet from my shower, it's 7:01. Yes, I shaved my whole body, and it takes time, okay? I don't know why I did what I did but... just shut up! I shake away the thoughts and focus on finding something comfortable and warm. Warm as in Canada winter warm, or warm as in Mumbai winters warm? I decide on jeans, spaghetti top and an oversized flannel shirt. I'm putting on sneakers when I hear the car honk. My eyes snap up to the clock-- 7:27. Huh, impressive. Picking up the handbag, I turn all the lights off of the room and head downstairs.

He has his face to this side, so our eyes connect the moment I take my first step of stairs, the same time my parents looks my way, so I look away from him and focus on my steps. All three of them stands up when I reach them. "I'll drop her off by 11pm, is that okay Papa?" He asks my father, Papa nods smiling. "Have fun, kids." Maa side hugs him. He forwards his hand, my cheeks flushes instantly but I keep my palm over his, he entwines our fingers. "Bye, Mumma Papa." I mumble, before we head out of the house.

He helps me in the passenger seat before taking the driver seat and soon enough we are on the road. "We are going to our farmhouse actually. We didn't really talk about if and when we want to public our relationship, so I can't be seen out with you. The media gets crazy, and I don't want them to be behind you. I can handle that but obviously you're new to this, so Mukti and Alya suggested I take you here first, that alright?" He breaks the silence; I nod my head not looking at him. My heart pounds harshly in my chest, I sneakily rub my almost sweaty palms on my jeans.

"Nandini, kya hua? You okay?" The car slows down a bit, I nod meeting his eyes. "You don't look, okay. What's wrong? You don't want to go to the farmhouse? That's okay. We can do something that you like. You are not comfortable being with me alone, we can go back or even to the Malhotra house. Fab4 is there, you want to meet them?" He stops the car on the side, I gulp down the lump in my throat and shake my head. "I-I just got nervous. I have never been on any date and it's my first and I really don't know how this whole thing works." The color returns to his face at my words, he smiles before picking up the water bottle and unsealing it, he puts it on my lips, I take a sip. The water slides down my throat and I feel it spreading some calmness in my insides.

He caps the bottle and puts it down before his hands come to cup my face. "Dekho idhar." He whispers, I look up meeting his eyes. "This is my first date as well. I have never been involved romantically with anyone before you, no matter what the internet says. I don't know how things work, you think I am not nervous?" he picks his phone from the cup holder and forwards it to me. "The password is 1103, call Mukti or Alya or my mother and ask what I did today." I shake my head in negative, I wanted to hear from him.

"I came home from work at 4 today, my mother had to triple check that it's 4pm and I am home on a weekday. Then I got Mukti and Alya to rush home saying I hurt myself badly--yes really bad, I got punched for that one-- then I pestered those three to tell me how to behave and not end up upsetting you in any way. It took me four minutes to reply to your "What time will you pick me up?" message, Nandini. I had a meltdown after sending you that message because I thought I fucked it up. I changed five outfits before finally coming back to the first one. We're both in the same boat, Nandini, let's hold each other's hand so it can be a smooth ride?" He opens his palm in between us, I look back at him and then his hand. I shake my head in negative. The smile vanishes from his face. He moves back, when his hand drops from my face, I hold his wrist.

"Can-- Can you hug me instead? It calms me down." I speak for the first time since we sat in the car. This time when he smiles, his eyes twinkle. In the next moment, I find my face nuzzled in his throat and his hand on my back, the gear between us making it hard to stay in the hug for long so we pull away some seconds later. He drops a kiss on the crown on my head before settling me back down in the seat. "Better now?" I smile nodding in positive. He takes my hand and kisses the back of it. I turn the volume up with my other hand and he starts the car. My heart settled down completely. We stay silent the rest of ride; he drops my hand just to change the gears before taking it back. His thumb moving circles on my skin.

We reach our destination, and he quickly gets down the car and runs to my side before I can even unbuckle the seatbelt. I chuckle. "Mukti's order?" I tease when he opens the door and gives me his hand. He shakes in negative. "Alya and if she got to know I let you open your door, she's going to pull out my insides with her bare claw-y hands." He shakes at the image making me laugh louder. Instead of the main entrance, we go to the back of the place. The garden area.

The setup is tiny and cozy and not to mention beautiful. "This is all me, okay? Aapki sister in laws ka koi haath nahi hai isme." His hands comes from behind me, he pulls me back into his body, I relax in his arms as we see the setup.

"They taught you good." I look up, he narrows his eyes making me giggle, leaning down he brushes our noses together. "Andar nahi jayenge?" I question. "Next time, when we visit after our marriage." He mumbles placing a kiss on my head and coming beside me, his arms thrown over my shoulder. He pulls the chair out and I take my seat. He brings his chair closer to mine, moving the wine stand behind.

He uncorks the bottle and pours in both the glasses. "To our beautiful beginning." He whispers holding the glass steam, I clink it with mine. "To us." With our eyes locked, we take our first sip.

The dinner is the best dinner I have ever had in a long while. He asks me about my work, my family and my college time. Shares some funny stories of Fab5. Some weirdest fan moments he's had. By the end of the dinner, I'm in tears because of laughing so much. The tables are cleared and our desserts arrive. I shake my head leaning back against the chair. "Nope. If I take one more bite of anything, my stomach's gonna explode." I say even though my mouth waters looking at it. This looks so delicious.

"Unbutton your jeans." My eyes snap up to my fiancé and then the server who is standing a few steps away from us. He follows my gaze and gestures for him to leave us alone. Once we are alone, he looks back at me. "If you don't try this, you're missing out. This happens to be our chef's specialty." He forwards his spoon to my lips. "If I burst open, it's on you." He chuckles at my statement.

"I'll take my chances." I part my lips and let him feed me. And god damn it! I would have missed out if I didn't listen to him. It's so good. I moan at the taste. He goes to feed me the third bite when I shake my head and stop him. He looks at me confused. I blush but look down at my stomach and unbutton the button to my high waisted jeans. The instant comfort that my stomach gets from this, cannot be described in words.

"Remind me to wear something loose the next time we are on date." I meet his teasing gaze, he chuckles, swallowing down. We share the dessert and send the extra plate back.

•

We take a walk in the garden after our dinner. I check the time when he takes me towards the wicker sofa— 9:53. He relaxes on the sofa and when I go to sit on the opposite one to him, he pulls me beside him. "You said this will go on our pace. My pace is fast." He murmurs in ny ears, his hand on my shoulder as we stay in a side hug kind of situation.

"Your birthday is on 11th." Wow Nandini! Bravo! Keep making a fool out of yourself.

"Mhm." He hums keeping his head leaned against the backrest and his head tilted sideways so he can keep looking at me. "We all celebrate at home, since Mukti hates going out. We'll be back on 16th. We can go out for another dinner date? Just us?" He suggests, I tch. "We can all go out? Fab4 and us? I'd like to get to know them all."

"You will regret that. They are not someone you get to know, unko avoid kia jata hai." He snorts, I slap his chest lightly. He holds my hand there and bring it to his lips. "You are so mean to Cabir for no reason at all!"

"You won't be saying this once you start living with me. He's pain in the ass." I shake my head at him. He continues looking at me. "Manik bolo."

"Hm?" I look at him confused.

"I haven't heard you call my name even once. Manik. Call me Manik." He leans down and rubs our noses together. "Manik." I whisper, breathlessly. His hand moves from my shoulder to waist, his finger digs in my skin and he picks me up and sets me on his lap. Our faces inches apart from each other's.

"Wapas." He murmurs. "Manik." The breath in my lungs leaves in a huff, he breathes on the same air. "Mani." This time, I whisper the name I love so much more than Manik. His movements halts. "Hm?"

"Mani." I repeat the name. He groans before pulling me a little up and hiding his face in my neck. His warm breath hitting on my bare skin.

"June se pahle kyu nahi shaadi kar sakte hum?" I laugh at his whiny tone. We stay in the same position for some time. Him hidden in my neck and my hands in his hairs.

"Ghar chalna hai." He mumbles in my neck, I hum. He exhales loudly pulling away from me. We both look at his wrist watch— 10:22. "Chalo." He moves me on the couch and gets up. He stands there setting his hairs and clothes and I button my jeans, his eyes stays on me the entire time. I take his hand and he pulls me up, side by side, hands entwined we walk to the car.

•

"Message me when you reach." I mutter just as my brother comes to open the door. He nods and drops a kiss on my head before letting me go. "Bye. Goodnight." He nods at Bhai and then me. I stand by my brother watching him walk back to the car. The car leaves our house and we both walk in.

"Not a minute late, huh." Bhai chuckles looking at the watch in the living room. Exact 11:00. I yawn and laugh together. We both walk upstairs, he drops me to my room before walking to his.

"I'm home. Fab4's here. You sleep, I'll talk to you tomorrow." I wake up with the sound of his message. It takes him 35 minutes to reach home from my place? God!

"Okay. Good night." I text back.

"Good night." I keep the phone away and let sleep take over me.